Opportunity to Grow

Develop Self-Confidence: Will You Use These 3 Filters Correctly
to Develop Your Self-Confidence?
By Emmanuel Segui

Many people that have low self-confidence tend to over-analyze
every situation and conversation.  Long after the fact they are
still dwelling on exactly what was said, how it was said and what
was meant by it.  They tend to come up with other ideas later for
how they should have responded.  You don’t need to analyze
everything about it.  Live in the here and now.   In order to do
that you need to let go of any preconceived notions about
yourself and others.  Stop judging yourself negatively. 

Try to see yourself in true light.  Avoid making
overgeneralizations about yourself.  If you have one mistake it
doesn’t necessarily follow that you will make other mistakes as
well.   When you over generalize you use words such as never,
always, every, none, nobody, everybody, etc.  These words tend to
lead you to incorrect conclusions. 

The words you speak reflect the kind of life you live. Words,
emotions, behaviors and thoughts are all interconnected. Improve
your vocabulary, banish some words and commit to watch your
language.

Filtering is a method we use to see the world the way we want to
see it.  We look at the world only through our own filter and
don’t believe that there is another way to see things.  To change
this we need to first realize that we do it.  Once we recognize
that we can try to stop doing it.

The filters that we typically use are generalizations, omissions
and distortions. We already talked about over-analyzing and
generalizing. So here is an example of distortion: self blame.

Self-blame is thinking that is distorted because you blame
yourself for everything, even when it isn’t your fault.
Sometimes you blame yourself for things that are out of your
control or that you can only partially control. 

One way to notice that you are living with self-blame is to hear
yourself apologizing often.  You may notice that you apologize
for things other people do that you have no control over. Start
to take notice when you apologize for things that aren’t your
fault and stop saying you’re sorry when you haven’t done anything
wrong.

We all use filters and we all misinterpret events and
experiences. But when you know that, you can say “hey maybe I
over-analyze that, or maybe I’m distorting this too much”. You’re
a meaning-maker. Make sure you create appropriate meanings that
are good for you.

And now, I would like to offer you my famous 5 part mini-course
“Discover the TOP 5 secrets of EVERY highly successful Person to
Achieve What You Want” today at http://www.vision-to-action.com

And I would also like to give you my multi-media minicourse on
building high self esteem at
http://www.opportunitytogrow.com/minicourse

Emmanuel Segui - http://www.opportunitytogrow.com

 

Tags: NLP - Building Self-Confidence, NLP - Videos //